Keeping Momentum: Wishing, Dreaming, Doing

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dreamwishdo

 

 

Last week you got to meet Deb from An Inspirational Journey and hear about her personal quest to lose weight and live a healthy lifestyle.

This week I want to introduce you all to Charlene. I met Charlene during a Dream:Reboot workshop we both signed up for where we shared and brainstormed ideas, dreams and inspirations for several weeks together. Her favorite saying is, “something good is going to happen to you today, I hope you’re ready for it” , you will love her, promise!

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Wishing

Rick and I married in 1990 and wanted to live on the road, but didn’t know how to support ourselves. We bought our first house and then began to live ‘normal’ lives. I was shopping for an RV, a Class C, thinking we could use it as a second vehicle and then take off on weekends. But, I soon realized that we simply couldn’t afford it. Then we purchased a sedan and it didn’t take long for me to be trapped in the thinking of having a job because it was the right thing to do. That’s when my dream of living on the road became a wish. I’d be overwhelmed with work and wish I was living on the road. My husband would see a rig on the road and wish it could be ours.

I have the proverbial itchy foot; I have traveling in my blood. From living and vacationing in other countries to living in multiple states in the USA. While in the USA I’ve spent many weeks and summers camping with the family and then with my husband. I yearn to see different places and meet different people. I know the camaraderie of fellow campers gathering around a campfire, sharing life experiences.

My husband grew up on a farm and hasn’t visited many places, but soon after joining our family he was introduced to the wonders of travel and the romance of camping. We camped often, beginning with a tent then graduating to 32’ Prowler travel trailer. While we didn’t haul the trailer to different places, we did rent a lot in a campground near our favorite lake in Indiana and visited it every weekend during the Spring, Summer and Fall for many years. And while we talked about living on the road, it was still wishful thinking.

Between 1996 and 1999 a lot of things happened to us, including having to cash in my retirement savings to pay for the rebuild of a house and medical bills, leaving us financially devastated. We did a LOT of wishing during this time.

Then, 13 years later, we’d recovered financially and our emotional wounds had healed. I’m in the 4th year of owning a business and he hasn’t found steady work for almost 4 years. I found myself wishing, once more, that we could just hit the road and go to Texas where he could find work. But I knew it couldn’t happen because our house wouldn’t sell, or because my business wasn’t growing enough, or because there wasn’t enough cash in the bank.

From Wishing to Dreaming

Near the end of summer, 2012, I was on Facebook and learned about Dream:Reboot. I was so discontented with the way my life was going. I knew there was something better out there, but honestly I couldn’t think of it. I just knew that something had to change. So I signed up for Dream:Reboot and began the journey from wishing to dreaming.

Through the workshop I was able to bring that old dream back to life. I was able to articulate how my husband and I could make the dream happen. I was scared to say anything out loud to anyone other than the group I was with in Dream:Reboot. But I could turn that wish into a dream, with goals and final outcomes.

Oh how I wish I could say that we were living our dream life. But, alas, I can’t. What I can say is that we are at the beginning of living the life we’ve wished for and finally dreamed about.  Our dream is to live in an RV and travel the country, supporting ourselves through our own business ventures. I have owned my own online marketing agency and research firm since 2008 and it is a business that can be managed from the road. He is looking at options available to him right now. Our target date for launch is 18-24 months from now. Undecided/undetermined factors include:

1. Sell the house and all its contents and use the monies to outright purchase the rig

OR

Contract a property management firm to rent our house and handle all rental and maintenance issues

2.  Purchase a Class A diesel with multiple slides – which leads us to the question of whether to tow a vehicle

OR

Purchase a 5th wheel RV with multiple slides and upgrade the truck to handle the load – leaving us with a vehicle to use while the RV is parked someplace

If my agency hits revenue goal within the next 12 months we won’t need to sell the house and contents, leaving us with a piece of property that could provide us with an income for quite a long time.

We’re leaning strongly toward the Class A diesel and will most likely make our decision next Spring, giving us time to shop around and look at the options available to us.

Keeping the Motivation: Doing

Now I must be patient and do things according to plan. It gets discouraging sometimes and once in a while I find myself wishing that I could just pack up and leave. Then my husband will say something about how he sold some tools and that money went into the RV account. Or I’ll read a post in the Dreamers Facebook Group and get connected again with my own dream. We’ve not had any negative responses from people when we shared our plans. Matter of fact, pretty much everyone wants to join us! So I am surrounded by people who are supportive of our dream. And that’s been tremendously helpful in keeping me focused.

There are a few other things that are helping: A friend of mine wrote a book titled “Dream High!” and it’s about his journey from being a mess emotionally and financially to having fulfilled each of his dreams. But he didn’t stop dreaming – the book was written 10 years ago and I’ve known him for 5 years. He says that the minute he reaches the fruition of a dream, he comes up with another one. Why? Because once you’ve achieved your dream what else are you going to do?

I keep his book handy and meet with him every few months to keep me on track.

We’re slowly getting rid of our stuff and junk. We have every intention of selling or giving away pretty much everything we own. And we’re doing it slowly because we can and because we want to be sure that some things end up in the ‘right’ hands. But at least we’re in the doing part now. No more wishing. Now it’s time to work toward making the dream happen.

charlene

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Charlene Burke is the owner of Search by Burke, occasionally maintains a personal site, enjoy shooting pool, shooting rifles and going on road trips as often as possible. She loves Star Trek and thinks Janeway is the best captain. Thinks the Knight in Shining Armor is a weenie and that Superman is the bomb…because he can keep up with Wonder Woman. Marvin the Martian is the best cartoon character, ever.

 

Keeping Momentum: An Inspirational Journey

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just. keep. going

just. keep. going

 

 

 

 

 

Goals, dreams, aims, visions; each of us have them, but they can look quite different. When I was younger, I had a list of accomplishments and deadlines for my life (control freak much?) They included graduating from college, getting my master’s degree, getting married, buying a house, having a family and a good job. Once I had those things checked off my list, I was forced to dig a little deeper and ask myself, now what? What did I really want in life? What was I passionate about? What did I want my life to look like in reality, not just on paper?

And the answer to each of those deeper questions can be summed up in one word: freedom.

I want the freedom to go where the wind blows me. Freedom will allow me to follow my passions wherever they take me and I’m finished with caring how things look on paper, that is the opposite of freeing.

During my Dream:Reboot course last year hosted by the lovely and badass Jennifer Miller and Nancy Sathre-Vogel, I was encouraged to reach out to people I looked up to and ask for things. Small things, big things, advice or help, the point was that we are all just people and if you never ask, the answer will always be no. Because of this sound advice, I have since formed relationships with many people who if I would have stayed silent, simply would not exist. I also now reach out to folks all the time with no hesitation and feel much more connected than before.

In my quest for ultimate freedom, I am finding one of my most difficult challenges is keeping the momentum of working towards my dream. I have many mantras that help when times get tough, and I also look to a community of other dreamers and doers that I like to refer to as my tribe. Their stories are a point of inspiration and constant uplifting encouragement for me, which is exactly what I need to create a positive environment for sustainable change. I would like to share their stories with you in hopes of fueling your dreams, whatever they may be.

Today I want to introduce you to Deb. She is the powerful writer over at An Inspirational Journey where she talks about her process of re self-discovery after years of being lost.  Here is her story:

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Thank you Sarah for giving me the opportunity to be a guest blogger, this is the first time I have been asked and I am excited!  Sarah asked me to write about keeping my momentum/staying inspired while on the path to fulfilling my dreams.  The best way for me to communicate this to you is to share my story of weight loss. 
In the past, I was never a “big” person, quite the opposite actually. My sisters and I were raised to be active and we were always encouraged to participate in team sports (although I sucked at it, I joined a few teams). In my final year of high school, I was working a part time job at the local supermarket and being a school prefect meant that I was able to leave the school grounds more often.  This meant many trips to the dairy and supermarket, which led to the consumption of more junk food.  There was no reason for it except that I had money and I could buy it. This was when my issues with food began. 
I met my husband just before my 20th birthday. We got married when I was 22 and weight was not an issue at this point, but my bad eating habits continued.  A year into our marriage, we decided to try for a baby.  Little did we know that I had a condition that would make me temporarily infertile.  In 2004 I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS).  My hormones were all over the place, I was starting to gain more weight and my face was ballooning, I had really bad acne and my cycles were awful.  The doctor told me that I had to lose at least 5kg to even have a chance of conceiving a child.  It was devastating news. 
The following year, my husband suggested that we join a gym.  I was horrified.  The thought of joining a gym was the worst thing in the world to me.  I felt disgusting and the thought of everyone looking at me was enough to make me sick.  But, together we joined and it was the best decision.  We had an awesome personal trainer and I lost 10kgs.  Soon after I lost the weight, I fell pregnant! In May 2007, I gave birth to our son.  We threw ourselves into parenthood, loving every single moment.  A short time before our son’s first birthday we decided to try for another baby.  We expected it to take a while just like the first time but much to our surprise, I fell pregnant a month later.  In October 2008, our second son was born and our little family was complete. 
Having two boys so close together meant that I was beyond busy and I quickly lost myself in the process.  Life was hectic and we were surviving on minimal sleep.  I began to lose confidence and felt desperately lonely at times so I turned to food as my comfort. 
Fast forward to 2011, after a very rough couple of years and some life changing events, my weight was very quickly getting out of control.  This time, it was bad.  I was heavier than I was when I was nine months pregnant. I was miserable, lacked confidence and was beginning to hate myself!  I just knew that something had to change!!
On the 24th August 2011, I made a decision to change my life.  Enough was enough.  I couldn’t do it anymore.  My friend has suggested that I check out a website called My Fitness Pal, where I could keep a food & exercise diary.  It was working for her so I decided to give it a go.  I weighed in at 83kg that day, the heaviest I had ever been in my life. 
We started off slow but the weight began coming off – I lost 4kgs in the first two weeks!  We carried on just doing this with not too much pressure.  After a couple of months, we stepped up the exercise adding in hills and steps with our walks and doing the bike/cross trainer at home.  After a few weeks, I reached a 10kg loss, it was amazing. Now I am back at the gym, working with a fantastic trainer and I am stronger & more fit than I ever thought possible. I set myself a goal and have reached that goal in just over four months. I have kept the weight off for one year now and am happy.
It has been an amazing journey with many ups and downs. What kept me going? 
  • Changing my mind to live differently.  Mindset is everything.
  • The horrible thought of being big.
  • Something just clicked inside of me.
  • Taking progress photos along the way.
  • Feeling proud of myself.
  • Support from online communities at My Fitness Pal and Facebook.
  • Documenting my journey of progress.

When my physical self is in check, I feel balanced.  I am a better mother and wife.

Having a clear goal was the thing that helped me stay focused.  Setting mini goals along the way was also helpgul.  Having a friend alongside me was the strongest motivator. It tested our friendship at times but we remain strong and I firmly believe that we are both in a great place right now. 

As for my dreams – that’s a tricky one.  I am yet to decide which direction to head in.  My youngest starts school later this year and I want to make a plan and maybe do some study. A big dream of mine would be to continue this lifestyle forever and hopefully inspire others.  I want to be a role model for my children and I hope that one day I can go running with my boys. 

I feel that with a bit more confidence that the world will be my oyster.  I know now that I can achieve anything – I had to prove that to myself and I have.

With the right support, the right mindset and the right tools you can achieve your dreams – just get out there! 

Deb – An Inspirational Journey x

Deb today

Deb today

More Fun & Free Toddler Adventures

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IMG_6739

A little while back, I posted some Fun and Free Toddler Activities. It has been my most popular blog post to date, so I thought, why not do a round 2?  Without further ado - I bring you my current list of awesome things to do and see around the Philadelphia region with your toddler this time of year:

Smith Playplace in the Park: Nestled inside the many wonders of Fairmount Park, you can find Smith. One of the coolest playgrounds I’ve had the pleasure of playing on. And it has an inside for rainy days too! Tips:  BYO sunblock and lunch, it’s very sunny here without much shade and there are picnic areas for lunch breaks.

Can you believe this is FREE?

Can you believe this is FREE?

Playground Hopping: Print a map of the local parks around your area and check them off as you visit each one. Sometimes a new park is all you need to add some adventure. I recently located The Philadelphia Playground Project that highlights all the parks in each neighborhood and tells you what you’re in for. Tip: Always bring a set of spare clothes/shoes. You never know when your park will have a creek!

Exciting new places :)

Exciting new places :)

Splash grounds: Sister Cities (Center City) and Herron Park (South Philly) are both perfect for those scorching summer days. Tip: Wear bathing suits and bring a change of dry clothes. Face it, you’re all going in.

Sister Cities Park

Sister Cities Park

XPN free at noon concert series: Every Friday @ noon, World Café Live in University City hosts a free concert. It’s the one place you can bring your toddler and enjoy some music that doesn’t involve the words peanut butter and jelly.

worldcafe

Fort Mifflin: This hidden gem is a fun gated place to let the kiddos run wild. It’s mostly grass so you don’t have to worry about spills for new walkers. Kids are free, adults are $6. Tip: It’s right next to the airport, so you’ll get the added bonus of seeing planes flying super low.

Fort Mifflin

Visit a farm: Any local farm will have animals to see/pet/feed and hay to play on. Both of those things mark a perfect day in our world. They also have hayrides, fruit and veggie picking and mazes to run through.

Pick Your Own

Pick Your Own

Hope you enjoy the new list!  What are some of your favorite adventure spots?

New Challenge: 100 Push Ups!

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cliff_hanging

Last week I was forced into watching some ridiculous action movie. You know the kind where someone gets chased by 390809234 people and all billion bullets fired at their head somehow miss them, and then they end up hanging one-armed off a cliff and miraculously save themselves by pulling themselves up? Bruce Willis was probably in it.

It made me realize that if I were in this same exact situation (realistic, I know) I would probably not be able to save myself. Then I got mad. And then I began my frantic Google search for ways to increase arm strength, quickly.

Don’t get me wrong, I can do things now that I couldn’t do before because of my yoga regiment, but when you’re a mama and other people’s little lives are counting on you being able to hold your own weight, plus theirs, while pulling yourselves up a cliff – you better do what you can to be ready for that moment!

Enter The 100 Push Up Challenge

Just 6 weeks to being able to do 100 consecutive push ups. It sounds impossible to me, but I will attempt it and bring you along for the ride.

Last night I completed my initial test and was able to do 7 real push ups (in the correct alignment). This means that I will follow group number 2 throughout the next 6 weeks. It’s just 3 days/week so to make it easy I’ll do it on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.

It’s almost tank top weather people! Who wants to join me?

pushup1

My Approach to Parenting a Spirited Toddler

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Last week, I had the pleasure of writing a piece for one of my favorite inspirational websites, Uncommon Childhood. In case you missed it, this is what I had to say

nakedbaby

Parenting is a lot of things: It is fun, rewarding, eye-opening, difficult, challenging and exhausting – off the top of my head.  And all of those emotions are usually felt before noon in my house. 

Meet Xavier Marat.  Born on February 9, 2011, your textbook definition of “spirited child”.  While I do not love labeling people, especially children, he fits the description almost perfectly and the truth is, labels can be really helpful in locating the right resources.

On top of the World

On top of the World

It wasn’t until I heard the term “spirited” that I began to Google my heart out.  Finally I came across a book, THE book, that continues to help our journey be a bit smoother.  So many books and articles focus on telling you what NOT to do as parents, while this one gives me the language that I need to know what TO do. 

The Characteristics of a Spirited Child from Raising Your Spirited Child:

  1. Intensity – loud, dramatic children and the quiet, intently observing children.  Either one, their reactions are always powerful.
  2. Persistence – committed to their task or goal, unwilling to give up – they ‘lock in’ to what they are doing
  3. Sensitivity – keenly aware of noises, smells, lights, textures or changes in mood. Easily overwhelmed.
  4. Perceptiveness – Everything is noticed and they are often accused of not listening.
  5. Adaptability – Uncomfortable with change and do not shift easily from one activity to another.
  6. Regularity – Figuring out when they will eat and sleep is a daily puzzle
  7. Energy – Physically active all the time: climbing, leaping, fidgeting, exploring, creating projects and taking things apart.  Sometimes viewed as ‘wild’ they are very deliberate and focused with their energy.
  8. First Reaction – Quick withdrawal in new situations
  9. Mood – as in moody and rarely smiles (this is the opposite of Xavier)

Because Xavier feels more of every emotion, situations must be dealt with accordingly.  This does not mean that he runs the show (contrary to what it may look like from the outside), this means that we communicate with him and treat him as he is a vital member of the house. He is given choices so he understands that he is part of what is going on around him instead of feeling powerless and out of control in a world where everyone and everything is bigger than him and difficult to understand. 

There are a few things I regularly employ into our routines that help keep sanity levels balanced:

1. Role play

  • Transitions and change can be tough for all children (and adults for that matter).  Role playing beforehand with dolls, trucks or any toy he’s currently into has helped Xavier identify what is going to happen and mentally prepares him for it. It also makes him feel like he is part of the adventure.  We have used this tactic in getting him to do things like brushing teeth, wearing bike helmets, playing gently with friends and animals, and even leaving the house to run errands.

2. Limit Screen Time

  • It is known that spirited children often have strong sensory reactions and can become overstimulated easily.  Limiting screen time automatically limits the amount of transitions occurring on the flashy game or show that can often spark the overstimulation. 

3. Get Outside!

  • Whenever Xavier is having a rough time, we head straight outside for a calming walk.  We used to do this in the Moby wrap when he was teeny tiny, and now we alternate between stroller and bike. There is something about the fresh air and open space that completely resets his mood.

4. Me Time

  • Kids can be exhausting and the thought of getting out of your yoga pants and actually running a comb through your noodle make you want to collapse.  But because your child demands so much from you, it is important to make sure your own needs are being met.  Make it to that yoga class; meditate for a few minutes each morning, just do something to turn off your momma brain for a short time each day. It’ll allow you to reset and I find that I have a TON more patience when I do make ‘me’ time, which results in better parenting. 

5. Do What Feels Right

  • You are going to hear some insane commentary and advice throughout your parenting lifetime, so get your game face on.  Some of my personal favorites include, “Do you think Xavier is like that because you used cocoa butter on your belly when you were pregnant?” and “Stick a t.v. in his bedroom and the remote in his crib so when he wakes up at 2:00am, he can occupy himself.”  While some advice will be laugh worthy, some will also be really helpful. But what’s important to remember is what works for one child may not fit another.   

While I claim to be no expert on child rearing, these are some things that work for our family in this moment in time. Hope they can help you and yours!

In the words of Xavier "Have a daaaayyy!"

In the words of Xavier
“Have a daaaayyy!”

Peeling Your Onion: Layer 3

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Let’s recap real quick,shall we?

Layer 1: Identify what you spend your money on

Layer 2: Create an action plan

Layer 3 focuses on bringing in more income

It's For Beer

It’s For Beer

Since paying off debt is super fun and addicting, you probably have started thinking, “If only I had MORE money to put towards that stupid Bank of America card…”  Exactly.  Layer 3 is all about finding MORE money to pay off the balances faster and it takes some creative thinking to do this.

My first step was to sell some crap.  Since one of my long term goals is also to get rid of half of everything we own, it’s a win win. Yardsale, Facebook and Craigslist all helped me get rid of the bulk and bring in some extra cash.

Yardsale at my parents house, thanks for the help Ma!

Yardsale at my parents house, thanks for the help Ma!

I then contacted all our insurance companies (homeowners, car, life) to see if there was any way to save money.  Bundling insurance is one way, as well as changing plans that fit your needs better.  Ask about new programs or incentives that you may be able to join.

Call your credit cards to see if they can lower your interest rate or do one better and tell them you’re closing your account. Most companies want to keep you as a customer and will do anything to keep you.  I recently got a $300 credit applied to my Discover card this way. Score.  The neighbor then towed our car for nearly the exact amount.  Ohhh the irony!

Mike started teaching online classes through a local university which also fits with our location independent lifestyle goals.

I picked up some more freelance photography work.

We stopped having money directly taken from our paychecks to go into retirement accounts and applied that amount to our debt.

All of these things add up and every little bit helps…so go practice your phone sex voice already! Get creative!

DSC_0093

 

DIY Hand Scrub

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I am a lover of all things coconut.  Oil, water, spray…you name it, I love it.

Because your skin is your largest organ, I think its REALLY important to be mindful of the chemicals and toxic things we put directly on it every day.  Instead of attempting to decipher the ingredients listed in your local pharmacy, why not make your own products?

Enter home made hand scrub. Eternal bliss for tired, overworked, dry hands.  And it’s easy! I got this recipe from The Nourished Life, but added a little more coconut oil than the original recipe calls for.

Ingredients

Ingredients

Ingredients:

  • 2 tbsp coconut oil
  • 2 tbsp raw honey
  • 1/4 cup sea salt
  • 1/4 cup organic sugar
  • 1 tbsp juice of a lemon

1. Stir together the honey and coconut oil

2. In a separate bowl, mix the salt, sugar and lemon until it’s crumbly

3. Mix together until it’s smooth

4. Store in a glass bowl and enjoy!

And don’t worry if you spill some, you can just lick it up :)

Ta Da!

Ta Da!

Quieting My Monkey Brain

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Manuel Antonio National Park, Costa Rica Sarah Kurliand Photography

Manuel Antonio National Park, Costa Rica
Sarah Kurliand Photography

Do the laundry, go to the grocery store, pick up the dry cleaning, make a list, eat right, exercise, read this article, cook well balanced meals, get enough sleep, drink 8oz water a day, oh yes….and don’t forget to relax…okay?

Monkey Brain. A classic buddhist term meaning to be unsettled or restless.  A term I feel we westerners have taken to a whole new level in a world where we process more information than ever before, thanks to advancing technology.  We are constantly connected.  Email, text, facebook, twitter, and good old fashioned phone calls.  Don’t get me wrong, I think technology is fantastic and can be quite empowering in many situations. But, I also feel very strongly that like many good things, you can have too much of it. Connectivity needs limits and has side effects on us.

Yoga is responsible for many great changes within me; mind, body and spirit over these last several months.  But the most helpful change has been the quieting of my monkey brain.

I am a planner. I like to have something to look forward to all the time and am constantly looking for new projects and things to do and see.  This planning has many benefits such as preparedness and organization.  But it also has one major con: when I am looking into the future or the past, I simply cannot be present.  It’s impossible. I am so focused on the goal, that I miss out on what is happening right before my eyes and often times, it’s more about the journey itself, than the end point, right?

How yoga teaches stillness

It begins with the physical element.  Your teacher tells you to move from tree pose to dancer position (while remaining on one leg) and you bring your focus to one still point in the room and go with your flow. Your concetration is fierce.  Your glance, hardcore.  And then…out of no where, it begins to trickle in.  A conversation that was bothering you from earlier in the day, things you need to do after class…and boom, your pose is broken and you fall.  Now, falling is no big deal, it happens, especially when we push ourselves.  But, it happened because you broke your concentration from the present moment.  You were looking into the past and onto the future. 

Stillness deep in Thailand Sarah Kurliand Photography

Stillness & Reflection deep in Thailand
Sarah Kurliand Photography

Off the mat

Over the course of my practice these last several months, I began to notice my monkey brain beginning to fade away, slowly but surely.  If I feel my mind start to wander, I simply increse my breath awareness and deepen it, and just like that, I am back in the game.  Hmmm, do I really have this much control over my thoughts? Yep!  But we’ll save this for another day :)

Applying this stillness off the mat has been helpful in every area of my life and it has happened as a natural progression. I am more patient than ever before and less bothered by things that would have affected me in a past life.  I am able to enjoy the moments as they are happening instead of looking onto what’s next or dwelling over things that I have no power over.  My relationships have grown deeper and the light within me is shining bright. 

Namaste (The light within me, honors the light within you)

Namaste

Namaste

 

Peeling Your Onion: Layer 2

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Okay, so by now you have figured out where all your money is going.  Surprised? Probably a bit.  If not, then good for you. You are one step ahead of 50% of Americans. Sorry, I totally made that statistic up but it sounds about right, dontcha think? 

You have chosen a few places to cut back your spending without going over the top (just yet) and are ready to dive in, right!? Sweet, let’s go.

Layer 2 is all about the action and we Virgos LOVE this part of it.

Step 1: Record and examine ALL your debts.

  • Open an Excel sheet and begin recording.  Something like this:

ITEM

TOTAL OWED

MIN PAYMENT

%

COMMENTS

Chase CC

$3,000

$75

11.99

F U credit cards

 Mortgage

$145,000

$1,300

 5

F U Mortgage

*Not our actual figures, I’m not brave enough to share that just yet

Step 2: Decide what you want to attack first.

  • Head on over to The Debt Blaster to see how long it will take you to pay off each item based on what you are able to pay towards it.  Go grab that wine again, you’ll probably need it.
  • Rearrange your excel sheet so your debts are in the order you want to attack them.
  • Man v Debt does an excellent job explaining the different ways to pay off your debt and make it very clear that you have to find the way that works for YOU.

We began with the easy, less emotional debts of our high interest credit cards. We chose this first in order to build momentum as well as morale, and also to clean things up.  We had so many different credit cards and bills, it was a mess to look at, making us want to look at it even less than we already did.  When Mike and I first combined finances, we had 20 some credit cards between the two of us.  I think the lowest APR was about 17% and we ended up paying hundreds of dollars per month in interest alone.  What a waste!  I am proud to say that we are currently down to 2 credit cards that are only for emergencies and building our credit scores and they will be at $0 within the next few months.

Step 3: Apply newly found money to debt of your choice

  • During Layer 1, you found some areas to cut back your spending.  Now you get to take that ‘extra’ money and put it towards your chosen debt.  Fun, isn’t it?

If you are like me, watching your debt get lower and lower can be a bit addicting!  Stay tuned for Layer 3 on how to feed this addiction.

 

Peeling Your Onion: Layer 1

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Layers of Onion Will Make You Cry

Layers of Onion Will Make You Cry

Our Spirited Life began in September 2012 and has helped me grow in so many aspects of my life.  It’s one of the many ways I hold myself accountable and continue to act on living the life I want for me and my family.  Also, knowing that I’ll be writing about something forces me to look at it in great detail, which aids in understanding from the inside out. 

Mike and I have since removed our heads from the sand and are looking at the cold, hard numbers on a regular basis.  The key to successful money management for those of us who HATE it, is routine.  Bake it into your routine (i.e., I look at our numbers every Monday for about 1 hour and see if anything needs changing/updating).

Last week, one of the best money blogs on the web, Man v Debt, posted about my current favorite topic, talking dirty.  It reminded me  how difficult this process is on so many deep, deep levels for people, and how critical it is to keep the conversations about money open, honest and consistent with yourselves and your partners.  

When I am dealing with debt and money stuff, I need it to be in small doses, otherwise my brain shuts down and all I hear is Charlie Brown’s Mother.  So, I thought it would be best to break my advice into the same small doses. 

I like to think of dealing with debt like peeling an onion.

The first layer is the thickest and the most emotionally exhausting.  Who wants to take time out of life to examine a potentially ugly situation? Not me! But what’s the alternative? It’s not going to magically disappear no matter how many birthday wishes you use up (trust me, I’ve tried). 

Your only option, if you want it to go away, is to face it, head on.

You will probably feel zapped by the influx of information, so I recommend doing this in managable chunks of time and energy.  If you feel yourself getting upset, take a break and pick a time to come back to it.

Step 1: Make a date with your partner to sit down and begin the process.  Create some ground rules (no blaming, no yelling, etc,), pour yourselves some giant goblets of wine and remember that you are on the same team.

Step 2: How do you spend your money?

  • Head on over to Mint.com.  This site automatically links to your online bank accounts.  It takes some time up front to enter all your information, but it’s totally worth it b/c it does all the math for you.  I hate math so this makes me a very happy girl.  I think the best part is how it categorizes your spending habits.  Look around and see what you’re spending all your hard earned cash on, you’ll probably be surprised. Download the app for easy access later.

Step 3: Find areas you feel ok cutting back.

  • This step will be different for everyone.  You don’t want to cut too much all at once, or it could backfire in the long run. Choose small expenses first that you might not miss too much. Remember, this is a marathon, not a sprint. 
  • Check out my post when I found $734/month by downsizing, eliminating and making other small changes to our daily routines. 

Congratulations!! You have taken the critical  first steps at peeling your onion and uncovering the truth about your finances.  Now take a break and do something that feels good (without spending a buttload of money!). You deserve it!  

Relaxation

Relaxation